How To Be A Winner In Everything You Do.

Experts, including many leading psychologists, agree that what separates life's winners from its losers are certain patterns of thinking and behavior. Losers tend to perceive the path to success as a straight, unbroken line from beginning to end. As a result, these people are unable or unwilling to cope with setbacks along the way.

If their progress is slowed or halted for any reason, they often become frustrated and give up. For these people, setbacks are failures that can not be overcome. Their motto might be, "if at first you don't succeed, give up".

Here are some of those winning characteristics found in common among successful people in all walks of life.

1) Goal-Oriented

In order to be a winner, you must have a goal- some point you wan to reach. That's the first and most important requirement for success. Simply put, you can't be a winner if there's nothing to win.

Both short- and long-term goals are essential elements in providing a sense of direction and purpose. Without a specific, clearly defined goal, you're like a traveler who has no destination. You have no idea of where you're going or why. You don't know how to use your time and resources to their fullest advantage. On the other hand, goal-oriented people know exactly where they are headed and why. They plan their journey carefully, keeping in mind all the detours they may face along the way, and never lose sight of their destination- their goal.

2) Motivation

Once you have set your goal(s) you must have the drive or motivation to reach it regardless of the obstacles in your way. Winners are all highly motivated people who press forward until their goals are reached. That doesn't mean that in order to achieve your goals you must exclude everything else from your life. You'll still need to socialize and relax, but you must set priorities. Consider how much time you spend each day in unnecessary pastimes that do little more than sap your energy.

If you use that time instead to focus on and work toward a specific goal, you'll increase your chances for success dramatically. The bottom line is, in order to be a winner, you must want to reach your goal more than anything else.

3) Positive Mental Attitude

Having a positive outlook doesn't mean blissfully ignoring the many harsh realities of life. Winners understand that risks and potential setbacks are a matter of fact. Instead of dwelling on these negative aspects of life, winners are constantly looking for alternate ways to pursue and achieve positive results. After all, how much can anyone accomplish with a defeatist attitude?

A positive approach with allow you to be your most creative and productive- both mentally and physically. Negativism will make you more vulnerable to stress and less likely to pursue your goals.

One way to become a winner in everything you do is to study successful people and then follow their examples. You don't have to make yourself over in someone else's image. But you should learn and develop the winning characteristics these people have in common.

It's not an impossible task. If you are willing to make the necessary changes in thinking, attitudes and behavior, you can realize your full potential and achieve whatever goals you set.

About the Author:
Enrique Villalobos is the owner of MakingExtraMoneyAtHome.com, which provides free articles and resources about working from home. Visit it now and download the free ebook "Dotcomology, The Science of Making Money Online."

The Power of Your Words.

Most of us underestimate the power of our words. We sometimes miss how our words set a tone. A few words can make someone's day, or shatter it. Words can inspire someone to buy, or to go away without buying. Our words can move someone to do their best work, or to work against us. Your spoken words serve either to build up or to tear down. They serve to empower and inspire, or to disempower and hurt. Words are either life affirming or destructive. For this reason we should choose our words carefully. "The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human...like a sword it has two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you." (The Four Agreements, Don Miquel Ruiz)

When you are talking to someone ask yourself this question: "Who am I being and what is the impact of my words on the people around me?" The power of your words lies in the intention behind them. Is it your intention to create a resolution or to be right? Do you intend to help the organization accomplish its mission or to satisfy the need to take someone down? We communicate best when we are clear about who we are and what we intend. This kind of clarity prevents us from saying words that are harmful to ourselves and others. It may prevent us from engaging in harmful gossip and complaining.

Gossip is usually destructive. It is often a careless use of our words. We just aren't thinking about how we are affecting others. Sometimes gossip is mean spirited and intended to cause hurt. Whether gossip is careless or intentional, it causes pain. We may be hoping for a little humor or self justification, but the results of gossip are anger, suspicion, embarrassment, and fear. These creations of gossip negatively affect morale, service, and productivity. You cannot both care about someone and gossip about them. If you think back to the last time you either heard or offered gossip, it probably didn't make you feel good. Gossip disempowers us.

Similar to gossip is chronic complaining. Complaining about people and situations makes us feel and look powerless. Managers who complain in front of their employees lose credibility as leaders. Chronic complaining leads us into a dead end street where there is nothing to be done. We become victims who are powerless to change anything. While venting frustrations to a trusted friend can be helpful in releasing negative feelings, complaining to everyone tends to reinforce negative feelings. Like gossip, chronic complaining disempowers us.

Our power to do harm is exceeded only by our power to do good. A simple, sincere apology (given without expectation of return) can heal a relationship. An uplifting word at the right moment can change a life, launch a career, or convince someone to go beyond perceived limitations. By consciously looking for evidence of greatness in others, and by using our words to tell them, we help others to build confidence. When we sincerely speak well of others we uplift ourselves.

There is great power in making the commitment to keeping our words as positive and life affirming as we are able. As an affirming presence our influence grows. We feel better about ourselves. Constant negative speech imprisons us and prevents us from finding joy and success. Developing the habit of speaking well of self and others frees us to enjoy life more. We become a blessing to ourselves and to others.

Our spoken words originate from our thoughts. The best way to increase the positive power of our spoken words is to clean up our thinking. We must become willing to think well of ourselves. Constant self criticism needs to become unacceptable. We free ourselves to think and speak well of others by thinking well of ourselves.

Consider practicing the following:
• Affirm life in your thoughts and your words. (To affirm life is to build up, to nurture, to support, and to bless)
• Refuse to gossip. Commit to saying only words that are uplifting or helpful to others.
• Refuse to listen to gossip. Compassionately tell others it is beneath them to gossip.
• Refuse to indulge in complaining about another person.
• Refuse to dwell on self critical thoughts. Learn from mistakes and move on.
• Intentionally look for positive qualities to think about yourself. Make a list often.
• Intentionally look for positive qualities in others. Tell them.
• Don't take the words of others personally. Their words are more about them than about you. Let go of your grudges and your hurts and wish others well. This practice will make you happier.
• Do not allow negative emotion to control you. Accept it. Be willing to let it go. Stop feeding it with negative words. Choose words that will refocus you on who you are and what you really want.

Gossip and complaining are distractions and a misuse of your energy. Decide what you really want and apply your energy to it. As you become more life affirming in your thoughts and words you will experience more joy and success, and your sense of well-being will affect others. More people will trust you and want to help you. Your life will change. Affirm life with your thoughts and words and you will find that your organization, your family, your community, and you will benefit greatly.

William Frank Diedrich is a keynote speaker and the author of The Road Home: The Journey Beyond the Spiritual Quick Fix, 30 Days to Prosperity: A Workbook for Well Being, and Beyond Blaming: Unleashing Power and Passion in People and Organizations. William also offers a free online newsletter, Transformation Times. To learn more about Bill, his books, and his services,

go to http://www.transformativepress.com

or to http://noblaming.com

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What Women Want: a Five Point Guide for Men

What women want may surprise you. At least once a day, as a dating coach and a columnist, I get an email from a guy somewhere begging for an answer to this most frequently asked question by men: "What do women want?"

The question of what women want comes from a genuine confusion in many men. What most people already know is that men and women think in very different ways. And how those different thinking patterns are demonstrated gets some couples in trouble. Men like action activities; women like to sit and talk. When you are planning a date, if you want to please her, try and combine both such as lunch and a walk in the park. Another example of the different ways men and women think is that men perceive working long days and even on weekends as a way to show their success or love. Women, however, may see that behavior as neglect. There are many other examples where men and women get their signals crossed.

If you have ever been at a loss for understanding what women want, here is a five point guide:

1. Being Number One

All women want to be Number One. Just ask Cinderella, Cleopatra, Miss Piggy, or any other well-known female icon. They want to know that they come first in a man’s order of priorities. They want to feel that their boyfriend or husband will choose them over every other activity or relationship. If your girl knows this, she won’t mind when your mother, child, friend, or co-worker calls and asks for help. What she won’t understand is if you have dinner with your Ex on occasion, or drop your plans with her and go have beer with the guys instead, or, never take time to ask about her day because you watch the sports channel every minute you are at home. Being Number One is the Number One desire of most women.

2. Keeping Your Word

Women want a man who keeps his word...in his relationships, his work, and in all aspects of life. If you promised her the world (Disney World, that is) then you'd better give it to her. If you don't do what you will say you will, she won't trust you. Without trust, your relationship doesn't mean anything. Keep your agreements. If you can’t, tell her so (preferably, beforehand) and tell her how you plan to rectify it. More importantly, don’t make promises you can’t keep.

3. Listening

Women want a man who listens. I know you are tired of hearing about this one, but it is central to a relationship. She wants to be heard. Listen to her. Apparently, this is difficult for most men to do. Sitting down and talking is not something you are naturally wired for. But you can learn. Further, it’s impossible to have intimate or important conversations with dogs barking, kids crying, or phones ringing. If your girl is trying to talk to you, handle any emergencies, turn off the cell phone and TV, and give her your full attention. If you do, you will make her feel that she matters.

4. Believing Her

Women want to be believed by men. Men tend to be (or think they are) more analytical than women. Therefore, when she speaks, and is trying to tell you something important, you may have a tendency to dismiss it. If you know how to balance your brain with your heart, and listen with kindness, you will find that what she has to say is relevant to your life with her. If you are with someone you don’t trust, then her words will have no affect on you. (And you should be asking yourself why you are there.) But if you love and trust her—then believe her.

5. Doing What She Asks

Women want you to do what they ask at crucial times. She doesn't expect you to "fix" everything, but there are times when her requests call for action. I know, I know—some of you are probably smirking by now. But if you implement what she says, you will have an extremely happy partner. This statement assumes that you are with a good person; that she is rational most of the time; that she does not ask the impossible or the ridiculous of you; and that she is equally giving. Some men find this hard to do because they feel that to do this, they are being a wimp. Believe me, she wants you to have backbone. And there is every opportunity in all parts of your life to exercise that quality. She isn't asking for you to give up anything. She is asking to be heard and cared about. If you trust her character and if she tells the truth…do what she asks.

Go on and try these suggestions. If you are with a happy lady…you are going to be a happy man. This is what women want.

Visit

http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)
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Top 5 Reasons Why You Should Smile More Often

The ability to smile is a gift to humans. It not only fills a mood of happiness and positive energy into one's own soul, but also spreads a feeling of good will, friendship, love, and care for the others to perceive, who happens to be facing you or to whom you are smiling at.

Further, a heartening smile is a non-verbal symbol of acceptance, which is very crucial in our social lives, and a gesture that personifies your confidence, eagerness, aptitude, and willingness to perform your duties with full heart. Have you ever heard an HR personnel lecturing on interview skills telling the candidates not to smile at the interviewer before accepting his invitation to take the seat? Or have you ever met a receptionist attending to your queries with a tight lip?

In fact, not! No friendly interaction could do away with a broad smile on either of the participant's faces. This is a universal truth in fact, but restated by our motivation and success-type of gurus.

So, it is quite obvious why it is important to learn to smile, even in times when you do not feel to smile at all, but to grin or gnaw. Here are top 5 reasons as to why you should smile more often than how you are today. If you are confident enough that you are smiling very often, please skip this article; it is meant for those poor souls who have not still fathomed the importance of a cheek-to-cheek smile.

a) As mentioned earlier, a full hearted smile sets the tone for the rest of the day. It makes one feel good and better and the positive energy a smile brings into oneself is both self perpetuating and infectious.

b) A heartening smile makes others also feel welcomed to come and talk to you.

c) A smile originating from your inner self is a good enough stress buster. It triggers your hormone production, thus soothing the building tension in you.

d) A smile not only peps up your appearance, but it also plays a major role in toning up your facial muscles. Remember, smiling is a subtle exercise in itself.

e) Finally, a smile does not cost you anything. And it returns in lot, the results being emotional, social, and biological.

Our world is full of sad people, with long faces. Let you also do not add to their already long ranks. Smile yourself into a new life and let others also follow suit. So, next morning, when you get up, make sure that there is a broad smile originating on your lips. Make it a habit to smile and soon you will realize how substantially this little change can transform your life!

John Khu is an experience entrepreneur and internet marketer. He specializes in communication development and personal happiness.
http://www.happyessence.com
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Developing Your Sense Of Humor

Having a good sense of humor is one of the most important characteristic of all happy and successful people. A good sense of humor helps you to solve problems, improve your relationships, and have a positive outlook on virtually every aspect of your life.

Sense of humor is something people talk about but rarely understand in terms of what humor really is. It is often defined as having a different perspective on things. This way of looking at sense of humor is only partly correct. If you defined sense of humor as just having a different perspective, it would be like saying, “If you were just 6 feet tall, you’d understand this” and “If you just had a full head of hair, you’d be more comprehensive.

Changing your perspective means going back through your entire life and looking at all the belief systems and elements that went into making up your perspective. So it’s not a simple process. A sense of humor is a very particular developed sense of perspective that allows you to access joy even in adversity.

I’m not talking about going through life and laughing things off. Nor am I talking about the fact that you ignore a problem or don’t take it seriously. I am talking about first dealing with the problem and then putting a positive spin on it.

The idea is that a sense of perspective when it comes to humor allows you to see yourself in the scope of things rather than always at the center of things. Most of us have a tendency as to believe that any problem we are confronting and facing at particular moment is the most important thing that is going on in the world.

This way of looking at problems is a very heavy responsibility. It makes you feel as if the problem is everywhere and it becomes the focus of your being. This is why a developed sense of humor is so important, because it allows you to see yourself in the scope of things rather than always at the center of things.

When you look at things with a sense of humor perspective, it enables you to have a remarkable capacity to control how you see the things that are going on in your life. You cannot control the external events in your life, but you can control how you look at them.

An important part of a developed sense of humor is the capacity to take yourself lightly, even though you may take your work or your problem very seriously. A sense of joy in being alive is an intimate component of the human will to live. It’s not abstract, but it’s not easy either, you have to work at it.

One of the best ways to develop your sense of humor is to make a list of all things that make you happy, that put a smile on your face, or give you joy. Make of a list of the things you do or once did that you don’t have time for anymore, that nourish and sustain your sense of joy. List the things that enliven you and strengthen your spirit, so that when a problem occurs you’ve got a reason to combat it and have the flexibility to see it though to a successful conclusion.

The root form of humor is umar in Latin. It means to be fluid and flexible like water and that is what humor is about. It’s staying flexible so you don’t get broken by the difficulties you confront. Being flexible enables your creative mind to stay open so that you can still come up with solutions even in painful situations.

Making a list of the things that make you happy sounds simple, but it’s not. I’ve done it with thousands of people over the past ten years and what I’ve found is that most adults over the age of 35 cannot write down more than three things that give that make them happy. They will invariably start off with something such as, “my work, I love my work.”

You should never put work on your list, or anything that causes you or other people harm. Instead you should list things that make you happy and put a smile on your face. For example, you might want to list things like going to a movie, fishing, or kissing your spouse.

Don’t try to complete this list all in one sitting. You should spend at least four to six weeks completing it. I advise my clients to get a small diary or pocket folder and carry it with them. This way you can write down things as they come to mind or as you’re actually enjoying them. After six weeks time you should have over 100 things on you list that make you smile, laugh, or feel better.

This list is going to become a critical component in developing your sense of humor because it will help you deal more effectively with all those small things that are always chewing at you. If you have a big problem, you can handle it, you can see it, and get into it, but it’s all those little things that keep sneaking up behind you and nipping at your neck that having a good sense of humor helps you deal with.

Misery is not subtle. Pain is not subtle. Joy, humor, and laughter are very often subtle. So you have to pay attention to them to start activating them into your life and that’s what this list will help you to do.

Making a list of all the things that you enjoy and put a smile on your face will not only help develop your sense of humor but it also gives you the opportunity to find out more about the people in your life and what makes them happy and this will enable you to help them develop their sense of humor. When you are able to give other people joy and put a smile on their face, especially when they need it most, you will be giving them the greatest gift you can give.

Copyright©2006 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.

Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and achieve total success. He is the founder and CEO of JLM & Associates, a consulting and training organization, specializing in personal and business development. Through his seminars and lectures, Joe Love addresses thousands of men and women each year, including the executives and staffs of many businesses around the world, on the subjects of leadership, achievement, goals, strategic business planning, and marketing.

Reach Joe at: joe@jlmandassociates.com

Read more articles and newsletters at: http://www.jlmandassociates.com

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Get Clear About Your Life Purpose.

Do you want to wake each morning looking forward to the day ahead?

Do you want to be of service to others by creating benefit and value in your everyday life and environment?

Do you want to love what you do?

If your answers sound anything like "yes", then it’s likely you’re not yet living the life that’s right for you. The result? You’re living out of habit with a routine that serves only to help you exist as opposed to live. The solution? To get clear about what it is you really should be doing with your life, to start living it and to realise the wonderful benefits for you and your environment.

Are You?

Fed Up With Where You Are Right Now – Perhaps Even Resentful?

Wishing You Were Doing Something More Meaningful Each Day?

Sensing It’s Time You Did Something About It? If any of your answers are "yes" then read on ...

What’s In It For You?

Discover What It Is That You Really Should Be Doing With Your Life

Transform It Into Reality

Revel In The Benefits That Come Your Way As Your Environment Seeks To Support You

By sticking to the same old routine of existing as opposed to living, we risk forming a habit that serves only to frustrate us. We slip out of alignment with our inner self, and because of this we fail to express our potential and the magnificence of the person we really are. The way to cut through this is to wake up to our calling – to discover what it is that motivates us to be of service and to make a difference.

How do we achieve this? Simple – we first need to discover our unique qualities and motivators for creating change, then set about applying them in our interactions with others. As we continue in this way, we begin expressing ourselves more naturally. In turn, we become compelled to make an even greater difference and do so by organising other areas of our life into alignment with this way of being and doing.

Result – we open up to who we really are and find ourselves expressing a genuine love for life. We also benefit from the support of our environment as all manner of opportunities appear to help us on our way.

INQUIRY: Make a note of your core values and unique personal qualities. List some of the ways in which you enjoy expressing these when interacting with others. How can you call on them to make a difference? What more can you be and do to build on this?

ACTION: For the next thirty days, make this a reality by putting the above into action. Notice how different you feel, and the effect you have on your environment. Perhaps there’s a way you could make a living from this? If so, check it out – what’s the first step? Trust in yourself - grab the initiative and make it happen. You’ll never know the difference you can make until you’ve made it.

Make A Habit Of Getting Clear About Your Life Purpose

For more information on how you too can live a better life, visit http://www.rightlifecoaching.co.uk/ now.

Best Wishes

Simon

“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfilment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated, thus everyone’s task is unique as his specific opportunity,“ Viktor Frankl

Simon is a professional Self Development Coach based in the UK. He specialises in helping individuals and businesses to see the reality of their challenges and desires, and then set about ways to transform and achieve them through inner change.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Simon_Perkins